Full Blog:
Hi, Im Debby Rosenfeld, and Im going to be part of Dr. Peekes Grand Canyon Adventure.
I use the term Adventure, to make it sound exciting, and not to scare myself. The truth is, I actually am having a hard time believing that Ive truly chosen to make the commitment to do this trip.
I am 5 feet, 1 and a half inches, and currently 154 pounds. Yes, overweight. But what you dont know by reading that sentence, is that last August, exactly one year before the Grand Canyon trip is scheduled to take place, I was at a 50th anniversary party for my parents, struggling to get into my Spanx, and feeling HUGE in my size 1x on-line-ordered sleeveless dress. I weighted 212 pounds. A relative said, why dont you just use more will power? --I burst into tears.
Now Im not one to cry easily. In fact, I figured out this fall, that Ive been through 45 different approaches to losing weight since I was 18. All of them serious. I dont remember crying on any of them. Throughout all of them, I struggled with emotional eating, even during the times when I was losing weight.
I also was diagnosed in my early 20s (when I was at a healthy weight) with OCD. (obsessive compulsive disorder). I believe that the medications that restored balance to my life also helped to blur the lines of self monitoring when It came to food. Of course, one more piece of the overeating puzzle, was that I was a confirmed sugar addict. And that was making me fuzzy, forgetful, and extremely unfit. Perhaps, what also led me over the 200 pound mark, was a growing doubt in my ability to change, that got just a bit more intense with every failed effort. In fact, by last Spring, 2007, I had pretty much decided that I needed to accept that I couldnt stick with any weight reduction plan long term, that my fybromyalgia was making walking for weight- loss impossible, and I would have to accept being where I was.
After all, I had two young kids, a husband struggling 27/7 to succeed in his own start-up company, and a hatred of cooking. What hope was there for me, except high-fat take-out, and giving in to sugar cravings on my husbands frequent business trips?
Late last Spring, I won a series of sessions with a holistic food counselor. I was not happy about it. I knew that she would give me food charts, and tell me to do things that I wouldnt be willing to follow through with, even though I would know that they sounded like a good idea. What she did though, was educate me about chemicals in our food. And, she actually convinced me to commit to giving up Diet Coke. (gasp) I couldnt believe what was being asked of me. But, I discovered, that when I did it, my sugar cravings went down, and my days with food were less driven by impulse.
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