Full Blog:
Hello, My name is Tina Hamilton
I am a forty two year young woman who is looking to make a life altering change for the better. I want to remove the remaining fat off my body to become the woman I deserve to be. For over twenty years I have hid behind this fat suit. I always loved food, all kinds of food. Food was my friend during happy, sad, and uncertain times in my life. Food never let me down,,,yet it perpetuated my depression, so I ate some more. God has blessed my life with five healthy, amazing children. During each pregnancy, I would take optimal care of myself. After each child was born, I never really lost the weight. I suffered from post partum depression and ate myself to 311 pounds. I took care of my children. But, I was like a zombie mom. I never really enjoyed life. I was happy on the outside but very sad and lonely on the inside. My kids deserve better than that but I didn't make any lasting changes in my behavior. I was too busy taking care of others and let myself go. I would feel guilty if I took time for myself. My dream is to ride bikes with all of them someday. I want to "Walk the Talk" with my daughters and prove to my son's that mommy is not powerless over food. With prayer, exercise, and knowledge I will gain from Dr.Peeke, I know I will attain my weight goals. There is no turning back now.
In August 2007, I underwent surgery to get a lap band placed on my stomach. I was at my end of trying every diet and gaining more weight with every failed attempt. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I thought, well this has got to work. Wrong!!! I only removed 40 pounds the first year. That was less than 50% of what lap banders usually lose. I figured out how to "eat through" my band and miss all my appointments to get the much need fill (saline injected into the band to make it tighter so you don't eat as much). When I finally started going to my appointments,,, I dragged myself there, I asked my doctor, " Is there hope for me?" I was feeling like a big fat failure as I never committed to removing the weight and making a real change in my life style. Some lovely relatives needed to remind me of the fact that I was still heavy even after that drastic surgery I had undertaken. They didn't have to live with me, I did. Their opinions did bother me, so I ate some more. Is there hope? The doctor replied, "Yes, Tina, there is always hope." Those were the words I needed to hear. In September of 2008, my young brother, Garrey passed away from Brain Cancer. He was only 27 years old. I spoke at his funeral and stated to the crowd, "may we all learn by Garrey's example of how to be kind to others and live life to its fullest." That's when I really decided to live. There was a re-birth of my spirit. God gave me this body. I need to take care of it and appreciate every breath I have. My children need a mother and I need to be a mother. I've spent too many years medicating myself with food. Sometimes, I would eat so much I would pass out. Where was there mother than? Sleeping....Not anymore,,,
Today, I went to the gym with all of my kids. I like to water jog. I do this an hour mostly every day. If I miss it, I am a crabby patty. So, I missed the gym this morning and decided, ok, I'll go later with all of my kids. We get to the pool, and the deep water area is packed with kids taking lessons and a swim team. Can't these people find another pool?! Just kidding, So instead of water jogging, I decided to get in the pool with my kids, shallow end. My daughter asked, "You want to play tag?" I reluctantly say, "ok" and she exclaims, "YES!!" I played tag for 30 minutes and had a great time. This wasn't my usual workout, but I moved my body and had fun with my kids at the same time. Two points for mom!!
This is a new day!! Every day I will try to live in every moment. Instead of medicating myself with food during challenging times, I will remind myself of my goals. I will be a good friend to myself. I will state positive statements to myself on a daily basis. I will take time for myself and not feel guilty for it. I will pray for strength and guidance to make it through each day. I will read and implement Dr.Peeke's plan for physical and mental transformation. There is hope. Hope can change you for the better. I hope to continue this challenge and to inspire others to challenge themselves to become what they desire most.
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