Full Blog:
This week has been an interesting one for me. It was the first week of the challenge and I feel I made some positive attempts for success. I feel there are areas in which I need to grow. Such as, planning and preparing healthy foods to eat. I did not plan well or have food prepared for work. So, I found myself eating out. One lunch stands out for me this week in which I feel good about. It was way past my typical lunch hour and I was ravenous. I went to the very convenient Taco Bell/KFC establishment. I thought, surely, they will have a grilled chicken salad, I was wrong. The only grilled chicken they had was in a huge wrap. So, I ordered it and opened up the wrap. I ate the grilled chicken, lettuce and tomato inside the wrap. It filled me up. I tossed the wrap and felt good about the choice I made. It took me a while to order. I felt anxious because my mantra, Walk the Talk was resonating in my mind as I searched the menu for something healthy/wise choice. Also, I was starving so I wanted to eat the whole menu. What I learned from this experience is to plan and prepare meals for work. Also, do not let five hours pass between eating.
I faced some different challenges keeping my typical gym routine. Instead of turning to food because I was angry or disappointed of not getting to the gym, I chose to do other forms of exercise. Such as, walking or taking a hike at Great Falls. I purchased a pedometer and I am determined to get 10,000 steps in.
I went to a seminar this weekend which included yoga/meditation and spiritual life coaching. The instructor talked about our beliefs. My beliefs create my experiences, so I attract what I think/believe. I thought for so long, every morning, every minute of the day, Im so fat, unworthy, fat, fat, fat. This weight will never go away. So, I stayed fat and the weight didnt go away. Now, I tell myself, youre awesome, you can be healthy, this weight is coming off, it might take awhile and thats ok---it took awhile to get packed on, itll take a while to unpack it. She also talked about feelings and feeling. It is so important for me to feel my feelings. Instead of numbing myself with food, so I dont have to feel, let myself feel the feelings and the urge to purge will pass.
This has given me strength with each little triumph I make over food. Such as, going to 711 and choosing a banana over a donut or a snickers bar. My five year old daughter asked me once, Mommy, when are you going to blow down? I wasnt ready then, but I am now. Im blowing down now. Its a good feeling being in control. This is going to be a great week. Im going to pray, plan, read and write in my journal.
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